On Thanksgiving last Thursday we had a tiny party with my closest friend early in the afternoon, then went to a big party at another friend's in the evening. My preferred socialization is having a deep conversation with a close friend who enjoy theoretical discussions. I would argue that I'm not anti-social. I host big parties every week -- yoga classes. My Sunday Flow class is similar to a church service. Regular participants congregate and move together physically and soulfully through our collective intention. The familiar and holistic context promotes a deep social connection. The class is often packed due to its active nature. Over the years of teaching my fear of public speaking and social anxiety in different contexts have greatly been relieved. However, the teaching and gathering can't change my personality. I'm most comfortable being alone or with a very few close friends.

Having space around you physically and in you psychologically allows for the patterns and big picture to emerge. I gather the ideas, theorize internally, and put the theories into tangible physical practices to share publicly. Some, like my husband, find it easy to relax in a large party while making small or large talks and taking it all in. He has shown me how fascinating and enjoyable it is to start a conversation with anyone by asking them questions about themselves. Everybody is an expert of their own lives. I find inspirations from all kinds of life stories. Whatever your style of self-optimization it's helpful to know that one isn't better than the others. We each have a unique way of approaching life and contributing to each other. None of us is immune to life challenges. We need the social support to cope with the current and future social ills, physical and emotional dis-eases, old age, and mortality.

Our learning style is embodied and expressed both actively to connect us with others and passively to nourish us within. The recognition that the desire to improve causes the perception of inadequacy is completed by the realization that self-improvement is the most natural expression of change which is the motivation for life. Self-help isn't a choice. It's the most vital aspect of living, without which there would be little or no desire for the continuation of life. If you aren't living, you are dying. To live is to learn. The motivation to improve is both the acceptance and refusal of imperfection. It means there is no end to learning. The desire to ameliorate naturally extends beyond the personal well-being. Wellness is both the cause and result of others' well-being. The superior complex lies under the humble visage. We findinspiration, motivation and optimism in the desire to improve and perfect.