Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.

Marcel Proust

The word resolution is synonymous with the word intention as well as the word intent. There are however some fine distinctions between them. Resolution means "a firm decision to do or not to do something" or "the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter". Intention means "a thing intended; an aim or plan". In the medicinal term, which I love, it means "the healing process of a wound". Intent implies, according to the author Beca Lewis, "a sustained, unbroken commitment or purpose". To get myself on the right path for the New Year resolution I begin the journey with an intention. To realize the solution I nurture and sustain the resolve through intents. 

Resolution is a reality check. If I were to live to 90 years of age then where I am now in the linear time is approximately the mid-life. I figure that I have earned enough grief and happiness to be myself. The reality of what actually don't belong to me is heartbreaking but it does strengthen the resolve to drop the inessentials and embrace the essence. Conscious development isn't linear. It's the feedback loop of the less conscious becoming more conscious. Time, without experiential reference, tells nothing. The current popularity of the self-help in the category of being yourself and the how-to guide it generates doesn't make the reality less complicated or more clear. Books with titles like Unf*** Yourself offer nothing new in the self improvement genre but their contemporary presentations keep the curious minds hooked. A truly curious mind takes the learning personally and profoundly.

Resolution is accountability. The life you want to live depends on it. It is not a vague virtue but daily actionable tasks and engagements that generate palpable results. To be more myself I have to be both honest and compassionate to the reality I live in. Thoughtfulness and attentiveness are mindful insight that focus on one's own responses and initiations. In other words, blame no one. On the day before the New Years's Eve I listed the strategies to tackle my shopping addiction. It evolved into this blog. I went to bed early on New Year's Eve. My nature is more like a wild bird as compared to my husband's who is more like a wild cat. Neither likes partying late. I love to go home before sundown in order to fly high very early the next day. I spent the early New Year morning meditating with the sunrise and sending prayers to the people in my life. Afterward I danced to the tunes of Abba. It was purest joy and wildest nature -- in happiness and in grief.

Reality check is about acknowledging the way you are as opposed to the way you want to feel or the things you desire to have. The fact is that the older you are the longer you can observe your habits and long term patterns. The level of thoughtfulness and attentiveness determines how clear you can distinguish, given the fact of life you have gathered so far, which are addictive behaviors that lead to less joy and poor health and which are your authentic wild nature that lead to wellbeing. We are blessed with consciousness that is self-aware. It is our birthright to define our reality and own it. This is the only thing belongs to us. The rest is dust in the making. Each new year or new moment gives a definitive space to resolve the old reality and live a new narrative that is more life supportive -- more yourself. Remember that intention is healing. I wish you a most joyous and wildest Year.